Do you find yourself reacting in a way that feels automatic - like snapping into people-pleasing mode, shutting down when you’re unsure, or comparing yourself to others even when you don’t want to? That’s the ego-mind at work.

But not the villainized ego you may have heard about. The ego isn’t your enemy - it’s a part of you that was built to help you survive, belong, and make sense of the world. Especially in childhood, it helped you form an identity, interpret what was safe or not, and navigate relationships. In many ways, the ego did its job beautifully.

But over time, those once-useful strategies can become limitations.

The Problem Isn’t That You Have an Ego - It’s That You Might Be Letting It Drive

The ego doesn’t like uncertainty. It prefers what’s familiar - even if what’s familiar is self-doubt, perfectionism, or over-responsibility. Here are a few ways that shows up:

• Attachment to Identity: You may feel stuck in old roles like “the helper,” “the achiever,” or “the responsible one.” These roles may have earned you love or safety once, but now they keep you from expressing your full range.
  
  

• Fear and Separation: The ego often sees through the lens of comparison or defense. It asks, “Am I better than? Am I less than?” instead of, “What’s real and true for me?”
  
  

• Resistance to the Unknown: Growth often requires us to step into unfamiliar territory - creatively, relationally, or spiritually. The ego will often resist this with self-doubt or a need to control.

But here's the shift: You don’t have to eliminate the ego. You just need to recognize when it’s running the show.

The goal isn’t to banish the ego, but to build a wiser, more expansive relationship with it. When you bring compassionate awareness to its voice, you give your deeper self—the one beyond roles, fear, or survival - a chance to lead.

Free to Choose: A Gentle Practice to Get You Started

The next time you catch yourself reacting automatically—feeling defensive, shutting down, or slipping into an old role—pause and ask yourself:

· How am I judging myself, the other person, or the situation?

· What do I believe is so bad about being that?

· If I softened around that judgment… what might become possible?

Feeling resistant to softening? That’s human.

Let’s follow the thread together to help you understand the underlying fear that's holding you back, free you to consciously choose what you want to experience instead, and empower you to create lasting change.

Book a free 30-minute Insight Call